His sense of humour
THE PRIEST WHO PUT HIS PARISHIONERS TO SLEEP
And now here is one more little story that was often told by Father Emiliano Tardif, a Canadian priest world-famous for his healing charisms, and who has since passed away.
Personally, I heard it at a conference he gave some years ago to the Community of the Beatitudes.
Here it is... One day, a diocesan priest who was very hard of hearing and had a very poor memory went to see his bishop and said to him:
“Father Bishop, I am at the end of my rope. I cannot take it any more. I have come to ask your permission to retire early.”
“And why is that? What has happened to you after so many years of good and loyal service? What is going on?” asks the bishop.
“Well, I believe I am a very bad shepherd. After all these years of the priesthood, I realize that I cannot manage to interest people in the faith. Every Sunday, when I begin to preach, everyone falls asleep. There are even some I can hear snoring! And this has been going on for years! It is terrible! I cannot take it any more!” — The bishop, a man who knows Christians VERY WELL, gives him a small piece of practical advice:
“Listen, next Sunday, when you preach, try saying the following to your parishioners: ‘Brothers and sisters, I have great news to announce to you: I am in love.’ There, you will see,” the bishop goes on, “people should listen to you with great attention. Then continue in the following way: ‘Yes, brothers and sisters, I am in love. And what is more, I am in love with a married woman.’ You will see, at that moment there should be a very, very, very deep silence in the church. Then tell the faithful that the woman you are in love with is the Virgin Mary, and finish by speaking to them about her. You will see, they will surely listen to you!”
The bishop and the priest part ways; the latter returns to the rectory of his parish, and the following Sunday he celebrates Mass as usual. — At the time of the sermon, after the reading of the Gospel, the priest (who, let us remember, was very hard of hearing and had a very poor memory) begins to preach as follows:
“Brothers and sisters, I have great news to announce to you.”
As the bishop had foreseen, a total silence falls over the assembly.
He continues, saying:
“Yes, brothers and sisters, I have great news. Would you believe it — our bishop is in love!”
At that very moment, one begins to hear the flies fly about in the church and necks stretch to better listen to the preacher’s words.
“Yes, our bishop is in love, and he is in love with a married woman. The only little problem... is that... I have completely forgotten the name of that woman!” — No one knows exactly how the Mass ended that day, but, according to Father Emiliano Tardif, the bishop of the place would have agreed that this priest finally go into early retirement!
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